(Sweet Babies-by Nick)Yesterday our friend Jared called with some hard news. His wife, my close friend Michelle miscarried a sweet baby at 12 weeks along. As he was talking to Nick a rush of memories came to mind. The due date for our little one that we lost was Aug. 7th, just a week ago, and even though it has been several months, loosing a child at any stage leaves you feeling empty. I can still remember the complete horror when the doctor came in and told us the walls of my uterus had collapsed and I was loosing the baby. Then I was rushed in for surgery, in pain both physically and emotionally. It was the second time in my life seeing my husband cry. The heartache is immeasurable. But for my Michelle and all others who have lost a child, or still struggle to become a parent, I want to share with you some things I did learn through this experience.
First-family and friends are the BEST! Let them support you! We had so much support from family-my mom was there when I got out of surgery-she dropped everything and drove the 6 hours to be there-my sisters who left their families to be with us-my sister-in-law who sent a book that brought so much comfort-and all the rest of the family who constantly checked in and prayed for us. Friends supported us by bringing meals, coming to visit, bringing flowers, and my best friend Amy even left her family for 2 days and came and cleaned, did laundry, and took care of us. Not to mention all the care and prayers we received from home teachers, RS pres., Bishop, and others in the ward.
Second- take time to grieve- my friend gave me three quotes that I hung up and read everyday that really helped me. "Life is hard, but I can do hard things," "Things take time," and "Make the best of it." As I read these I realized that it was ok to feel sad, and that it would take time to heal, but I could make the best of it.
Third-The whole experience brought me closer to Nick and closer to God. That is where I found my strength. I literally felt that I was in their arms constantly. Let the experience bring you closer to those you love and God.
I think all the things I learned from loosing a baby, I could have learned and used as we struggled to get pregnant for 4 years.
To Michelle and Jared and all those who have lost or are praying for children, know our thoughts and prayers are with you.
First-family and friends are the BEST! Let them support you! We had so much support from family-my mom was there when I got out of surgery-she dropped everything and drove the 6 hours to be there-my sisters who left their families to be with us-my sister-in-law who sent a book that brought so much comfort-and all the rest of the family who constantly checked in and prayed for us. Friends supported us by bringing meals, coming to visit, bringing flowers, and my best friend Amy even left her family for 2 days and came and cleaned, did laundry, and took care of us. Not to mention all the care and prayers we received from home teachers, RS pres., Bishop, and others in the ward.
Second- take time to grieve- my friend gave me three quotes that I hung up and read everyday that really helped me. "Life is hard, but I can do hard things," "Things take time," and "Make the best of it." As I read these I realized that it was ok to feel sad, and that it would take time to heal, but I could make the best of it.
Third-The whole experience brought me closer to Nick and closer to God. That is where I found my strength. I literally felt that I was in their arms constantly. Let the experience bring you closer to those you love and God.
I think all the things I learned from loosing a baby, I could have learned and used as we struggled to get pregnant for 4 years.
To Michelle and Jared and all those who have lost or are praying for children, know our thoughts and prayers are with you.
2 comments:
I am so sad to hear that they lost their baby, we are thinking of them and keeping them in our prayers. It is so hard to understand why these things happen. But I love the 3 quotes you shared, those would be helpful in any trial. I don't know what we would do if we didn't know that families were forever when things like this happen!
I teared up reading this, but I love that you wrote it. I love when you share this part of your world. Sad for your friends.
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